


Preparation and Magnum Shenanigans

by Qu33rios



Series: The Eighth Month of the Year [2]
Category: Ed Edd n Eddy
Genre: Cute, Day 2, M/M, Oneshot, ive had a shit day love me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 03:10:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15548307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Qu33rios/pseuds/Qu33rios
Summary: Nat always has a way of screwing things up. This time however, it might just have been Kevin's anxiety that pushed him into taking Nat's advice, dropping everything to run to the nearest store and pick up the nearest package of condoms.





	Preparation and Magnum Shenanigans

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: DAY 2 !!  
> Guess who lost her own pet snake for several hours and then went on an adventure to find her. /fingers point back to me/ why yes, you are right, and what, you want to know where I found her? She was under the house in the crawl space and guess who crawled through roaches to get to her??? In all honesty though, I’m just happy she’s safe.

Exactly three days ago, Eddward Vincent, the esteemed and declared valedictorian of their Senior Class had agreed to meet up at seven o’ clock to see a movie. Kevin felt a gigantic relief flood his body once he realized he hadn’t been rejected. The jock spent his Senior year throwing googly eyes at the back of Edd’s head while Nat and Nazz sat in the distance, continuously threatening to spill the beans if Kevin didn’t. He knew they were just stating empty threats, but the thought of coming clean did often pass his mind.

Six years is a long time to be in love and silent. He promised himself that if the nerve didn’t arise during Senior year, he would make an attempt to approach Edd outside of school once they had graduated. He did exactly that, walking up to Edd’s door the day after they walked and he asked Edd to a movie. He knew Edd was somewhat oblivious to these types of things, so he made sure to wear extra cologne, wink a little, and smile like a maniac.

Some would say that Kevin might have just simply looked like a maniac.

If he had a mirror at the time, Kevin would most likely agree. Edd on the other hand was flattered with the invitation, agreeing before Kevin could even exhale.

With cheeks flushing, Kevin quietly asked Edd that he come alone, for he needed it to be a night between just the two of them. Edd never once shook his head in dismay or disgust, he was eager to say yes when he understood Kevin’s actions. Their first date that would finally alieviate years upon years of built up tension and pressure.

“Oh wow Barr, careful or else you’ll nut right here.” Nat had teased him when he first expressed his feelings for the petite nerd. “Seriously though, make sure you got condoms just in case, can’t have you getting pregnant.” The joke, although a failed attempt at a degrading remark, sent Kevin into a panic. Condoms? Shit! He searched through his drawers, the bathroom, his dad’s drawers, his dad’s bathroom, but zilch nada zip. NONE.

Fear crossed into Kevin’s blood as he hung up the phone immediately. He needed CONDOMS! What if things did manage to heat up and he was unprepared? EDD WOULD NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN! He would be humiliated and loveless, two traits Kevin most certainly did not desire.

He glanced up at the clock mounted to the wall, it said 5:03, meaning he had exactly 1 hour to drive, pick up the merchandise, drive back and get dressed. He had just showered before calling Nat, and his orange locks drooped playfully in his eyes. A white baseball cap, a grey and white hoodie and blue deniem jeans did the trick for now. He raced out his door and down the block before realizing that he was an idiot, not only was he heading in the wrong direction, however his car keys were in his pocket and he managed to completely forget he owned an automobile. He ran back, wasting no time.

Five miles over the speed limit the whole way to the nearest place of convenience. A pharmacy run by a good ol’ Ma and Pa couple. Chang’s Pharmacy had been there since Kevin was young, he knew of the family, but he never came close enough to interact with them. Whatever, he thought, sliding through asphalt like hot butter and parking like his life depended on it. Kevin barely made it into one space.

Doors locked, and he flung himself into the door, pulling instead of pushing and colliding into the glass. He recovered quickly, again wasting no time, he had fifteen minutes to purchase the merchandise, drive back, get dressed, pick up Edd, and show up to the movie before previews.

Opening the pane correctly, Kevin frantically searched for a sign related to sex health. He began pacing through the isles, scoping for exactly what he needed. And finally, there they were. A complete shelf of condoms, all different sizes, names, companies, material. Glow in the dark, flavored, studded and "ribbed for her pleasure," warming, pleasure shaped, colored, tingling, edible, the list went on and on. Deciding on the type was hard enough, not to mention he had no idea what his size even was.

Kevin could not help himself. He grabbed a black box of Trojan Magnum condoms, he wanted to explore and widen his knowledge. He started reading the back of the box, including the directions on “how to put it on.” Although Kevin had experienced Sex Ed, putting a condom on a banana isn’t that helpful when your banana is mushed and deteriorating. Therefore scared from the same banana incident of ’14,  Kevin had stayed clear away from condoms. Well, he stayed away due to his fear and closeted tendencies.

Now that he graduated, all that was behind him.

“Um…”

The voice was distinct, Kevin raised his gaze to the Pharmacy stocker by his side. Kevin glanced between the other, the box, then back and over again. “This really isn’t what it looks like…”

“I get off work in 10 minutes.” A coy smirk kept Kevin’s blood pressure high. “Forget the movie, we can go back to my house and watch Netflix, less expensive and I’ll even make some popcorn as a snack. I can cut up some bell peppers too and we can dip them in ranch, the healthier option.

The ginger swallowed incredibly hard, worrying the saliva actually was a rock because it sure did feel like one. “Um sure Edd, I’ll wait outside for you.” Kevin blushed, waving and walking away.

“Wait Kevin,” Edd called out to him and in response Kevin turned. “Don’t forget to purchase those before you leave.”

The wink sent Kevin into a humiliated and embarrassed fit. He recognized the object he had in his hand and it seemed like his entire world fell apart at the seems. He nodded, a second passed and neither budged. Kevin moved first, slowly switching the box for some basic original box. Kevin felt the tint reach every freckle spread around his face. At least he would be prepared.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt:  
> Person A asked Person B out on a date and Person B is so excited the night of they go to the convenience store to make sure they are “prepared.” As they walk to check out they’re texting Person A asking where they are meeting up and then the cashier clears their throat and it’s Person A staring intently while sliding the [condoms, birth control, Viagra idk you name it] over the register and mutters, “I get off work in 5.”


End file.
